Monday, October 27, 2008

Rambling of a woman hoping to be on the edge of new things.

Wow, sorry for neglecting posting for so long...I am not even sure if anyone will check on my blog since I have been on hiatus for the last four months.  It was not an intentional break, but a time where there wasn't a lot of actual conversations but a lot of inner conversation.  I had one conversation that was cautionary about writing some of the thoughts we were discussing...  I suspect that the statement wasn't meant to prohibit discussing 'hot topics' online, but just an angle on the potential downfalls of putting controversial thoughts out for all to see.

Am I settling here in this chilly little town...?  Yes, but...  I so miss life on the hillside sometimes that it overwhelms me.  Then there are moments when I so enjoy life here that I don't think about being elsewhere.  Sunday was a bit of the latter.  A full house, lots of children, a little explore out of doors, snacks, crafts, laughter and conversation...  I was so blessed to watch my house become a place full of life.  

However, later that same day I found myself grieving the loss of an abundant life.  And then I was picked up and put back together by understanding friends.  It's amazing what a cup of tea, a bowl of Mama noodles and free conversation can do for the soul.

So I sit here looking forward and wonder...  What is coming next?  What role do I have to play in being faithful with what I am and have?  Where will I wander?

To start with I will cease to wander through the night...without having my DH here I forget to go to bed on time.  And I want to be out of doors as much as possible until the chill becomes bitter cold...the girls like to start the day with a stroll then launch into 'schoolwork'.

You know, I have dear friends who know without a doubt what they were made to do; and some who are doing what they were made to do with joy despite trials.  It seems odd to me as my 36th birthday approaches that I wonder what am I made for and if I know how do I walk in that here and now...

Well, what can I say, watch this space...more thoughts from this woman, hoping that she will soon be able to laugh under a new hugging tree.