When avoiding cognitive dissonance beware of cultural dissonance!

Let's begin with a few definitions...

Cognitive dissonance:  The discomfort caused by the awareness of holding two or more contradictory ideas.

Cultural dissonance:  The discomfort experienced by people in the midst of changing cultural dynamics; most often characterized by changes which are unexpected, unexplained or not understood.

I think that one of the most important aspects of cognitive dissonance is that one needs to have an awareness of discomfort before one can identify those thoughts which are being held in tension.  Self-awareness is an experience that is often sought out as we age.  We grow in understanding ourselves different and separate from those around us; we seek to inventory those things which we hold that are truly of us and those things we have embraced as default.

In the process of this often we come across contradictory ideas, thoughts or values.  We are then faced with a choice...  ...can both be held onto at the same time...  ...if not then which value do we go with and why.  

But here is the aspect that I wish to mull over.  What happens if in the process of self-examination and increasing self-awareness I decide to embrace a value that is not held or endorsed by the dominant culture in which I find myself?  I do not spare myself discomfiture.   The attempts to ease the unease of finding myself in the throes of cognitive dissonance I am thrust into a dissonance of another variety.

Leaving and coming back home has opened my eyes to cultural 'concerns' about my hometown.  I think that is likely a very 'normal' experience.  But as I wandered through my time back I realized that I was not at ease at home.  As I explore the reasons for my dis-ease; I find myself having shed some of the normalcy of home for another normal.  And I don't want to give up what I have received... ...as I weigh out the values I hold, I find more reasons to hold on to that which I experience as more real.   But that reality is uncomfortable and darker than expected.

I came to this as I watched a documentary this week.  Cognitive dissonance came up... ...those who have heard the truth yet do nothing with it... ...those who believe the truth yet do nothing with it...   That's most people when they count the cost of change and decide it's too much to pay with no guarantee that the reward will make it worth it; besides they will tell themselves no one else is moving towards change.  One insightful commentator said that we are living in make-belief.  

Actually, I believe that many of us know that we are living in make-belief.  And that is what leads to the very normal condition of the human mind to live in cognitive dissonance.  At the same time we want to avoid the pain of the dissonance so we increase the pretense making excuses for the reasons why we can wait or why what we know isn't as serious as it is... This phenomena is evident in many arenas of life often resulting from a simplistic view of the issue in question.  A simplistic perspective, leads to a simplistic approach resulting in a potentially detrimental solution.

From a global perspective, our attitude towards caring for the world in which we live will likely begin with a measure of cognitive dissonance and then gently lead us into the depths of cultural dissonance.  We all have a list as long as our arms for the reasons why we continue unabated with a lifestyle of consumption.  We know that the natural resources that we extract from the earth are not being replenished.  But we do not treat these resources as if they are finite.  Take petrochemicals...they are all pervasive on a global scale.  We know that oil is harvested and not being replenished.  We know that whatever we take is being processed and burned and detrimentally affecting the health of ourselves, our children and our 'home'.  But we continue.

... dissonance ...

So as I try to live more consciously I find myself trying to live as if what is true is really true.  Then I become very aware of the luxury of a strawberry in the wintertime... ...a lawn in the summer... ...a dryer during the rainy season... ...a car any time...  But I struggle to live accordingly.  Should I not buy my children fresh fruit in the winter because the carbon footprint may eventually cause them more damage?  Should I avoid olive oil because I know it is being transported to me emitting air and noise pollution every mile of the way?  Should I avoid: rice, avocados, tuna, coffee, black teas, bananas, coconuts, black pepper, sea salt, seaweed... because they are not responsible choices once I begin to consider the impact of getting them to my table?  According to one set of statistics the average that a food item travels before it lands on our table is 1500 miles.  That is not acceptable.  But,...

And this is where I become dissonant... I live in a climate where the ground is frozen for almost as many months as it is not frozen.  I have growing children whose nutritional needs are important to their long-term well-being.  And here is the one that is the most difficult to deal with... I can not always afford to purchase the locally grown, the organically grown, the responsibly packaged, the environmentally sustainable...  So I live with disappointment and disapproval of my own decisions.

Who wants to hear that they shouldn't buy new clothes every season, they don't need a new "insert item of choice', smaller is better, less is more, if it's yellow let it mellow, your clothes were stitched by a child, your toilet paper is made of trees, your neighbor is everyone who is connected to you via your home, your clothes, your food, your pollution, your consumption...

In fact, sometimes my oldest child doesn't even want to hear it... she is aware of the dissonant sound.  Sometimes I become overwhelmed trying to make a decision on a food purchase.  Other times I simply harden myself against my own judgement.  

But the challenging part is that we, as a family, are trying to move towards a lifestyle this is responsible, sustainable, healthful, justice centered, grace filled and love imbued; and so we oft find ourselves in the realm of the culturally dissonant.  We need to find meaningful action... ...re-evaluate choices and priorities... ...plan for the future... because sometimes the loudest sound is a lone voice in a lonely place.

I don't remember where I was when I heard that Princess Di had died!

I was listening to the radio on Friday as I drove around shopping for work...not the best thing to be doing on the Friday of a holiday weekend. As I listened I heard bits and pieces of segments on the death of Princess Di. As I listened to CBQ, I heard a call in asking the question, "Where were you when Princess Di died, or when you heard the news?"

...so I thought about it...

And I realized that I don't know...Of course, it was a tragedy; a life cut short in a senseless and frivolous manner is always a tragedy. But it wasn't a significant event in my world. In fact, for me it was eclipsed by the death of two other "celebrities". As I thought about the death of Princess Di, I remembered that she died in the same week as Mother Theresa and near the same time as the Christian singer/songwriter Rich Mullins. Only just now I checked and found out that Mother Theresa died on the 5th of September and Rich Mullins, on the 19th...not as close as my mind had led me to believe.

Even now as I think about it I still have this sense that the death of these other less known benefactors has been more of a blow to the people who they were serving. It would be silly for me to overlook the charitable things that Princess Di did and the publicity that she drew to them, but Mother Theresa lived a life away from the spotlight pouring her life out onto those who could never repay her. And for those of you who don't know Rich Mullins; he was a very successful American Christian Singer/Songwriter, who had all his earnings given to his church and had them dole out a working man's salary for him to live on, while the remainder was put into organizations who work among the poor and disadvantaged, including Kid Brothers of St Frank, which now comes under The Legacy of A Kid Brother of St Frank.

And even in the comments I have heard, the reflections on Princess Di with the exception of the relfections of her sons, are like those of starstruck fans. People who saw her, people who thought she was beautiful, people who thought she was treated badly by her husband, her mother-in-law, the press...but none of these people were loved and cared for by her, their lives were not enriched by having her as a friend or mentor... They just looked at her from afar...they saw her as one who lived that Princess Dream, but never got her 'happily ever after'. And I think we mourn for her because we all long for the 'happily ever after'. Looking to these other two lives of self-sacrifice and willing poverty makes us more uncomfortable, less able to indulge in our desire for wealth with a clear conscience...

Often I have heard the little ditty:
So heavenly minded, no earthly good...
But I've been thinking that the more heavenly-minded you are the more earthly good you can do...

While I hope that Diana's sons can move into adulthood as young men who have matured through their sufferings and continue to recall the love they received from her. I do not look to her as a model for life, but to others who are examples of "picking up their cross and following Him"; who would have never dreamed of saying, "Imitate me as I imitate Christ", although the statement applies to the life they lived.