When avoiding cognitive dissonance beware of cultural dissonance!

Let's begin with a few definitions...

Cognitive dissonance:  The discomfort caused by the awareness of holding two or more contradictory ideas.

Cultural dissonance:  The discomfort experienced by people in the midst of changing cultural dynamics; most often characterized by changes which are unexpected, unexplained or not understood.

I think that one of the most important aspects of cognitive dissonance is that one needs to have an awareness of discomfort before one can identify those thoughts which are being held in tension.  Self-awareness is an experience that is often sought out as we age.  We grow in understanding ourselves different and separate from those around us; we seek to inventory those things which we hold that are truly of us and those things we have embraced as default.

In the process of this often we come across contradictory ideas, thoughts or values.  We are then faced with a choice...  ...can both be held onto at the same time...  ...if not then which value do we go with and why.  

But here is the aspect that I wish to mull over.  What happens if in the process of self-examination and increasing self-awareness I decide to embrace a value that is not held or endorsed by the dominant culture in which I find myself?  I do not spare myself discomfiture.   The attempts to ease the unease of finding myself in the throes of cognitive dissonance I am thrust into a dissonance of another variety.

Leaving and coming back home has opened my eyes to cultural 'concerns' about my hometown.  I think that is likely a very 'normal' experience.  But as I wandered through my time back I realized that I was not at ease at home.  As I explore the reasons for my dis-ease; I find myself having shed some of the normalcy of home for another normal.  And I don't want to give up what I have received... ...as I weigh out the values I hold, I find more reasons to hold on to that which I experience as more real.   But that reality is uncomfortable and darker than expected.

I came to this as I watched a documentary this week.  Cognitive dissonance came up... ...those who have heard the truth yet do nothing with it... ...those who believe the truth yet do nothing with it...   That's most people when they count the cost of change and decide it's too much to pay with no guarantee that the reward will make it worth it; besides they will tell themselves no one else is moving towards change.  One insightful commentator said that we are living in make-belief.  

Actually, I believe that many of us know that we are living in make-belief.  And that is what leads to the very normal condition of the human mind to live in cognitive dissonance.  At the same time we want to avoid the pain of the dissonance so we increase the pretense making excuses for the reasons why we can wait or why what we know isn't as serious as it is... This phenomena is evident in many arenas of life often resulting from a simplistic view of the issue in question.  A simplistic perspective, leads to a simplistic approach resulting in a potentially detrimental solution.

From a global perspective, our attitude towards caring for the world in which we live will likely begin with a measure of cognitive dissonance and then gently lead us into the depths of cultural dissonance.  We all have a list as long as our arms for the reasons why we continue unabated with a lifestyle of consumption.  We know that the natural resources that we extract from the earth are not being replenished.  But we do not treat these resources as if they are finite.  Take petrochemicals...they are all pervasive on a global scale.  We know that oil is harvested and not being replenished.  We know that whatever we take is being processed and burned and detrimentally affecting the health of ourselves, our children and our 'home'.  But we continue.

... dissonance ...

So as I try to live more consciously I find myself trying to live as if what is true is really true.  Then I become very aware of the luxury of a strawberry in the wintertime... ...a lawn in the summer... ...a dryer during the rainy season... ...a car any time...  But I struggle to live accordingly.  Should I not buy my children fresh fruit in the winter because the carbon footprint may eventually cause them more damage?  Should I avoid olive oil because I know it is being transported to me emitting air and noise pollution every mile of the way?  Should I avoid: rice, avocados, tuna, coffee, black teas, bananas, coconuts, black pepper, sea salt, seaweed... because they are not responsible choices once I begin to consider the impact of getting them to my table?  According to one set of statistics the average that a food item travels before it lands on our table is 1500 miles.  That is not acceptable.  But,...

And this is where I become dissonant... I live in a climate where the ground is frozen for almost as many months as it is not frozen.  I have growing children whose nutritional needs are important to their long-term well-being.  And here is the one that is the most difficult to deal with... I can not always afford to purchase the locally grown, the organically grown, the responsibly packaged, the environmentally sustainable...  So I live with disappointment and disapproval of my own decisions.

Who wants to hear that they shouldn't buy new clothes every season, they don't need a new "insert item of choice', smaller is better, less is more, if it's yellow let it mellow, your clothes were stitched by a child, your toilet paper is made of trees, your neighbor is everyone who is connected to you via your home, your clothes, your food, your pollution, your consumption...

In fact, sometimes my oldest child doesn't even want to hear it... she is aware of the dissonant sound.  Sometimes I become overwhelmed trying to make a decision on a food purchase.  Other times I simply harden myself against my own judgement.  

But the challenging part is that we, as a family, are trying to move towards a lifestyle this is responsible, sustainable, healthful, justice centered, grace filled and love imbued; and so we oft find ourselves in the realm of the culturally dissonant.  We need to find meaningful action... ...re-evaluate choices and priorities... ...plan for the future... because sometimes the loudest sound is a lone voice in a lonely place.

Are we factory farming our children?

It has been an interesting time returning to our hometown after a near decade absence.  Although, we visited during that time we were not connected enough to see systemic changes in the demographics or the institutions.

One obvious change is the transformation of Elementary Schools into Seniors Housing.  I think I have seen near half a dozen sites in the city that this has happened.  With the disappearance of the Elementary Schools comes the disappearance of the green spaces and/or play grounds that are part of the school ground.  The land use changes so that trees are chopped down, play equipment dismantled and we 'pave paradise and put up a parking lot'.  This may seem like a small thing, but the character of the neighbourhood changes.  Houses become less family-friendly because there is less space to play and meet with neighbourhood friends.  Maybe you could make the argument that the houses in these areas, and thence the neighbourhoods,  become less community-friendly...to facilitate community there needs to be structures in place to support interactions and relationships.

Following this trend the mega-school model has been embraced...gather children and young adults from all over the city and pour them into a single large building.  Of course, there are arguments about use of resources and maybe a spread sheet could show that the budget is less if one building replaces two or three other small buildings.  But I wonder if all the extenuating factors are considered, such as carbon costs of longer commutes for both staff and students, relationship costs of larger classes, loss of interaction with families, change of relationships among students who have no means away from school to maintain  contact with classmates.

As my dh and I were talking about these things he drew the comparison between factory farming and the model of education currently being implemented here.  Herding children onto fenced in lots, packing them in buildings row on row, limiting physical contact...do we know that this builds healthy, well-rounded individuals? ...or has the god of convenience working alongside the god of profit-margins pushed us into missing the reality of what our society has been embracing? 

As a mommy with four children the demographics of the city I live in matters, not so much in who is around, but how friendly the city is for children and families.  Will it become more and more challenging to find free space for children to run, climb and explore?  Will it become increasingly difficult to live life with my children or as a family?

Celebrations

We have come through two birthdays...my wee girls are now 6 and 4 years old.  Evidence that life keeps moving on.

Some days I forget all the reasons I have to celebrate life.  And these four lovelies are some of the top ten reasons to celebrate.  Of course, my hubby is another...I suppose I could come up with 10 top reasons to celebrate life, but here are half of mine.

My days are filled with my girls...finally, homeschooling seems to be moving forward.  I always say that it's an intense lifestyle, but it's so good for building relationships with children.  I am so enjoying working through the children's version of The Case for a Creator with the girls; and supplementing if with some science facts from the original.  I love reading that engaes my brain.  Today we read about Micheal Behe's illustration of DNA and the cell using a Mouse Trap...things to think about...

Happy Colours, Good friends and a New Kitchen.

Well, my kitchen is usable again...

We, and when I say we I mean mostly B, painted the kitchen. You might think, no big deal, but we painted the cabinets as well as the walls. And it was a big deal!!!

The kitchen we now have had cabinets that lived there for a very long time. They had suffered from lack of attention; but being wood veneer there seemed to be little options aside from replacement. So we attacked them this weekend with melamine paint and spruced them up with new hardware and I must say I am quite pleased with the overall effect. But I have learned that using oil based paint is a pain...and melamine paint is worse...it gets sticky...it slides down the wall...and it takes forever to dry.

However, one of the biggest advantages to being back in our hometown is re-entering a circle of friends and family. So we ate at my Mom-in-laws, my parents watched the girls, my Bro-in-law and B's friend all came round to help out...

And the end result is a kitchen that makes me feel happy when I walk into it. ..Yea!!

There is an added bonus that several friends have told me they love the colours; which is very affirming for me since I love colours but do not always successfully put them together. Of course, they might be just being nice but that's okay with me because I really love my new ktichen. And I am told that the colour combo is very current and lends a retro feel to the space, which works with the mustard coloured fridge and stove!!! Double Yea!!

Unfortunately, no pics today...maybe tomorrow since I am so proud of my new kitchen and pleased that my hubby let me pic happy colours!!!