I am a LONE TOE.

So, here I sit again...struggling with the lot before me.  

I picked up a magazine on Monday called COMMUNITIES.  It is a magazine dedicated to describing the characteristics and challenges of life in intentional communities. Actually, I picked up two issues Winter 2007 and Spring 2008...one focused on Women in Community.  Now, this is not meant to be a ringing endorsement of all opinions expressed in the articles.  However, it was good food for thought and helped me to realize more of the reasons why I long for community and why transitioning back into Western culture has been more difficult than I expected.

So I was thinking that a community is like a body, not dissimilar to the analogy of the Church being the Body of Christ.  Using this picture there are then parts, some with similar functions, like fingers, some with complementary functions, like a knee and a leg, some with seemingly opposing functions, like the mouth and the 'other end'.  Maybe I was a toe...one of many serving in a parallel role, part of the body in helping maintain balance and support the direction and movement of the whole.  

Now, chop the toe off and send it on it's way.  The body will continue to function, and soon enough another toe will join the remaining, but the lone toe is, just that, a lone toe.  A toe can't do much while not attached to the foot.

I think that helps me to understand the challenge of settling back here.  I am a toe, not currently attached, and not knowing where I aught to be joined in...of course, generally, one part has to be both interested in being part of a particular body and also be invited to join in with a particular body.  So far, I sit...waiting for both the desire and the invitation eventually converge.