Broccoli,strawberries and shy kids.

I think by now most of my friends know that I am a bit of a stream of consciousness style blogger. So I was visiting a few blogs of friends and thought I'd jot a quick post before life grabs me by the throat and throws me back in the mix.

R is at school. M is baking at a friend's house. A and P are sleeping. B is in his office. Everyone accounted for and so I can breathe.

Broccoli is in season...it is fantastic. The thing is, it is a fairly new veggie here. And generally, everyone says ony foreigners want it. So if it is being grown where there are few foreigners it is cheap, cheap, cheap...but up here...well, let's just say, it's not so cheap. I am so impressed with the ability of the villagers to culivate new crops and then find a market for it. If only they would eat it.

And now...strawberries...again...not too cheap. But I have been serving the girls fresh chopped strawberries, with a wee bit of sugar sprinkled on top and a healthy topping of cream...yum!

But that brings me to shy children. I just read an interesting blog from a mommy of shy children. I must say that my children run the gamut from quite shy to very friendly. I have to agree that a good part of it is personality...no use discipling personality, you'll end up on the wrong side of the child.

However, I have always thought that part of my role as a mom is to help my children overcome their own weaknesses. In a world where you must relate to people to get on, it is helpful to give tools to our children to facilitate that. But, tools need to be given as the need arises or when the need is felt by the child. Giving a hammer to someone who still needs to chop the tree down, and make the lumber isn't the most useful thing. Now, once the lumber is stacked and construction is ready to begin then a hammer and nails will be useful.

My R is more shy than M. The blessing to me has been that shyness has not meant a lack of confidence. She is able to be onstage to sing in the choir and play a duet with her piano teacher. But she is not comfortable in situations where she is in a new place with new people. She needs to work out her place in the new situation and I have to give her the space to do that. We are working out ways that she can find that space without being perceived as rude, but fear is not the root of her shyness.

Interestingly, I was speaking with a high school student recently, who was telling me that their Health class did a mental wellness quiz. He noticed that all the extroverts were more 'well' than the intoverts. I think we can mistake friendly smiles for mental wellbeing and good manners, while deeper issues may lie unchanged and unhealed.

On the other hand, I understand that pride can come into play, particularly with older children. I have heard the excuse, "That's just the way I am." from both children and adults. But I don't think sensitive children actually want hurt anyone's feelings; so as the grown-up I am responsible for understanding that I might be a scary adult and not to be offended.

It's true that eventually we all learn how to cope with the world around us. As a mom I just want ot be able to hand the right tool to my daughter(s) at the right time to make that job easier.