Full Plate and asking for more.

So I am about to enter the realm of the working women...not that I haven't been working for the past 11 and a half years. It's just that no one has been paying me for the things I have been doing; and I think I enjoyed the autonomy of that kind of lifestyle.

Now we are settling into life in Canada and trying to create a sustainable lifestyle...not one dependant on changeable factors, but one settled on what resources we have and earn to ease up on the stress of the past seven years and add to the necessary stability for the coming ones. B needs to get working on his proposal...he needs a full bibliography together before he can write it and apply. And life in the foothills didn't have the luxury of time to read nor an accessible library chockablock full of religious texts complete with commentaries and such.

All of this and a mother-in-law with lots of contacts, has led me to a part-time job starting as soon as I want. The thought of committing to outside employment and homeschooling the progeny seems a bit daunting...but from as many angles as I can muster up...and I can muster many...it seems like a sensible thing to do. The family is all voting for it and the position seems to fit with much of my previous, albeit distant past, work experience. So I have prepared a proposal for the Manager/Owner and will bring it round her house tonight and see what she has to say.

I must say there is much I enjoy about being back here...but there is much I miss.

I miss the ease of relationships...the sense of calm when night falls...the adrenaline rush of spotting the alpha male monkey in your path...the pleasure of seeing students grow and make good choices...the enjoyment of a meal with seasonal delicacies ( I think that particular kind of fiddleheads that grow in Gharwal should be available now...5Rs a bundle.)...strolls out to Jubarkhat or down Mullinghar...staying late with friends and then sleeping over... I suppose it;s just moving to a rhythm that is more organic than the one that I have returned to.

Today I stood in the department store and felt a deep sense of sadness well up inside...I can't really explain it. It might have been the reality of living a new life...it might have been the pervasiveness of the consumer mindset...it might have been the sadness at again being in a place where it's very easy for prices to make beautiful things prohibitive...it might have just been mourning the loss of a life that I very much enjoyed.